After almost two months of not writing here, I am back. I feel so blank right now. Especially with what has been happening in my life right now. Everything is just going downward spiral. It seems that whatever I do, it throws people off in some way or another. I never meant to do that to be honest. I feel that whatever effort I put in everything comes off as cocky to most people, which was never my intention at all. I've never felt this much rejection in my life before. Clearly no one trusts me anymore - or at least I think no one is. I'm just terrified that whatever I have right now will soon be lost because of all of these things. I'm terrified to go back to that place where I was months ago. I'm terrified to be back to where I started. I'm terrified to be judged by my wrong move. And most importantly, I'm terrified to lose you - And I never want that to happen. I know I just met you a month ago but I feel that it could work, we could work. I know I am not the perfect guy on the planet, no one is. I make mistakes, you make mistakes, and its fine. I love you for that. I love the fact that your'e not so perfect. I love the fact that you accept me for who I am. I love the fact that you're willing to stay when everyone else leaves. I love all the weird things you have done. I love the way you hold my arm so tight whenever we would cross streets. I love your awkward and weird personality. I love you. I've never felt like this before. You're the reason why I love going to our org meetings. You're the reason why I am as inspired as I am now. You're the reason that gives me hope that I'll face my problems with ease. I feel the butterflies in my stomach grumbling happily whenever I'm with you. I don't notice anyone else when I'm with you. I could spend my whole day just thinking about you and everything you do. I know its cliche and all but yes, that how I feel right now and I do hope that you feel that too, maybe not right now but someday. I hope.
Love always,
Shaun.
No comments:
Post a Comment